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First Aid For First Dates

 

I did a First Aid course this evening and I couldn’t help thinking that first dates were a little like dating triage.

  • Is the person unconscious or in a non-revivable state?
  • Are they monosyllabic, disoriented or experiencing impaired consciousness?
  • Do they appear to have difficulty breathing or could they be choking?
  • Can that relationship wound be self-healed by some superficial bandages or will they need to be operated on by professionals?

Triage your first date to see if there are signs of life.

There are some guys on online dating services that have a little trouble packaging themselves. They are good guys, but maybe they don’t know how to stand out from the competition or feel uncomfortable putting themselves ‘out there’. Then there are guys with few social skills, who can’t read the body language or emotional cues that women give off and really need the help of a professional dating consultant. Finally at the other end of the online dating spectrum there are guys who know the game, play it well but are just in it for the game.

So how can you triage what you see before you on a first date to work out if it’s a situation you can deal with, or if you need to call 911 and make an exit.

Airway.

Is he talking freely? Is he letting you talk freely? Key indicators of a good date are free flowing, balanced conversation where both people walk away feeling listened to and hopefully, understood. The ideal situation will have this, plus steady, rhythmic laughter using the full capacity of the lungs. If you’re doing all the talking and he’s choked up, this is a Do Not Resuscitate date.

Breathing.

Is he short of breath? Look for physical signs. Sweaty palms? He could be very nervous or have swallowed a jalapeno. Either way, take the pressure of him by smiling at him, reassuring him and take the lead on the conversation for a few minutes while he recovers. Then ask open-ended questions to help stabilize the situation and find more common ground.

Circulation.

Does he have command of the situation, freely interacting with the waitress or other people where you both are? He might be in a fight-or-flight state, or he might just not be nice to the help. Make friendly banter with your waitress to lead by example, then ask him about his favourite masseuse, hairdresser or (physio)therapist. It’ll calm his heart rate thinking of a positive experience and give you insight into his thought processes.

If you can’t establish these vital signs of a dating life, then 911 is essential. Alternatively 411 can get you in a taxi to a girlfriend’s house, where you can be sedated with a bottle of wine and be treated for shock.

If your date is laughing, relaxed and you’re sharing comfortable conversation then you can proceed to the second stage of CPR. Here you would check for any allergies, pre-existing medical conditions and appropriate pupil dilation before considering mouth to mouth.

 

Don’t forget to sign up free for Tingle and let us know the pulse rate of the population there.

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