Have you ever felt the desire to put on a sticky latex nappy that makes "Whoopee cushion-like" noises while having sex? No? Well, if you have, then there is a product available for you. It's called the 'Scroguard', and is perfect for avoiding skin-to-skin contact in the bedroom.
The idea behind this bizarre-sounding device is to help prevent the spread of herpes and other sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) by limiting the amount of contact you have with your partner. The Scroguard is a essentially a full-pelvis condom, with a hole in the front through which you can put your penis.
The idea is that you wear one under your normal underpants, then when you end up in sexual situation you can put a condom on and tuck it under the Scroguard. That way, your entire pelvis is protected from STDs rather than just the shaft of your penis.
The Scroguard has a few interesting quirks, though. According to its website, the product might be sticky when it first arrives, and while you are using it pockets of air can get trapped and forced out of the sides of the Scroguard, making fart noises.
The site provides some compelling logic explaining the Scroguard's existence. It reads: "[American] Football players wear protective pads so they can play harder. Skiers wear helmets so they can go faster. Soldiers wear armour so they can excel in battle.
"Men wear Scroguard so they can enjoy sex to the fullest, while reducing skin-to-skin contact. We made Scroguard lightweight and comfortable so that it doesn’t interfere with your pleasure. Less worry. More fun. That’s our mission."
This might all sound bizarre, but it's hard to fault anything that helps prevent the spread of STDs. Still, those who want to enjoy their time in the bedroom might feel more comfortable opting for an extra-safe condom than something so elaborate.